Blood Pupil (Hand Over The Girl new edit)

“Hand over the girl.”

I looked at the suit holding the gun and knew he was used to getting what he wanted. I sighed. “Its not going to happen.”

“Are you crazy? We have you outnumbered.”

“And your point is?..”

He looked me dead in the eye. “We can take her by force if we have to.”

“That’s not a good idea.”

He threw his head back. “Ha! And why not?”

“For every action there is a reaction. You are a ripple in the pond. Don’t turn it into a wave.”

“I hated school teachers as a kid. I hate them even worse now, so just give us the girl.”

“You can learn nothing from her. Leave her alone.”

“We just want to talk to her about what she saw.”

I looked at the thugs before me. There were three of them. Either they weren’t that worried over what she saw or they didn’t think they’d have any trouble out of a little girl and her runaway school teacher. “She didn’t see anything. Nobody called the cops. Live and let live.”

The leader of the three shook his head. “I’m sorry, the boss wants to see her just the same. Just to make sure.”

“I can’t let you take her.”

“Come on, teach. Be smart. Don’t make me shoot you.”

The gun in his hand, pointing directly at me, was starting to make me nervous. “You don’t understand.”

“So make me understand and maybe I’ll let you live.”

I noticed the other two suits laughed under their breath. Yeah, I didn’t believe it either.

“She can’t go outside,” I said. “Not yet anyway.”

“What? Is she grounded or something? Teacher, giving her after school lessons in the dark? Ha-ha!”

“No, she just likes it here in the dark.”

“Freaking perv. How many little girls you bring down here in this dark, damp basement?”

“I’m not a perv. I’m her teacher.”

“Not for long, you ain’t. Now, one last time, hand..over…the …girl.”

I sighed. We were never going to get through this unless I did as they asked. I glanced over my shoulder towards the darkness in the corner. Not even shadows invaded that space, but I knew that’s where she was.

“I’m sorry Elena. These men want to talk to you. I tried my best. I guess I’m not much good at being a protector.”

The lead suit grinned. “That’s better, teach. Now get her out of that corner.”

“Elena, it’s alright. You can come out and go with them. But just this one time, okay?”

“That’s right girly, come out and go with us.”

I tried to peer into the dark, wondering if she was coming or not. Nothing moved there, but I knew she waiting for further instruction.

“Remember what I taught you. Never for pleasure, always for survival, okay?”

The thug leader rolled his eyes. “Whatever, teach. Come on girl, we ain’t got all day. Earl, go over there and get her.”

One of the other gangsters, Earl I assume, took a quick, purposeful stride towards the corner. “Right, boss. I’m on it….Hey, what’s up with her eyes? Why is she freaking smiling like that…..Aaaaaaaa!”

His screams pierced the silence of the basement. There was a crunching sound as he vanished into the pitch black corner. A guttural growl issued from the dark and Earl’s screams seemed to rise a moment before being replaced by something that sounded like he was drowning. We could hear the gurgling in his throat.

“What the hell? Get her off of him!”

The leader shoved his other gun toting cronie towards the corner. The guy hesitat d, seriously afraid, but knew he had no choice. He bounded into the dark, his gun blazing.

“I told you she wants to stay in the dark,” I said.

The gunfire suddenly stopped. “Oh my god, boss! She has…. Aaaaaa!”

In anger the leader cracked me against the head with the butt of the gun. I knew it would draw blood, but I didn’t go down. I stood my ground as he charged to the rescue of his guys.

“I’m coming , hold on! I’m going to pump you full of lead, you little bitch!”

He came up short, raised his gun at the target he could barely see. He pulled the trigger firing off several rounds until there was nothing but clicks.

“What the shit? What..what the hell are you? I just emptied all my bullets into you!”

He tried to take a step back, all the while his finger still pulling the trigger of the now empty gun. A small hand reached out of the darkness. Long, thin fingers bent at odd angles, as if the bones had all grown out in different directions. They grasped his gun arm, wrapping around his biceps and pulled him back into the horrible dark, where even I could not witness his fate.

“No, get away from me! Why are you looking at me like that? Oh Mary, holy mother of Jesus, is that blood on your teeth? No, no, no!…… AaaaaAAA!”

I took a short step forward. Pulling out my handkerchief, I wiped the blood off my forehead where the gun handle had whacked me.

“Elena, don’t turn them. Survival only, remember?”

I approached the dark corner and held my hand out. There were unsettling noises coming from within. Cracking bones. Hungry slurping. Animalistic growls overshadowing the moans of the dying. There was a final crunch like someone setting a broken leg on the field of battle and then her hand reached out to grasp mine gently. It was a normal child hand. No long, thin fingers bent outwards in opposite ways. And as she emerged from the darkness, her dusty brown hair covering half her face, I smiled.

“That’s a good girl,” I said.

She squinted her dark eyes against the light from the basement bulbs. Small slices of sunlight filtered through boarded up casement windows, and I maneuvered her small frame around them.

“Come on, let’s get you away from the light.”

She held her arms up to me and I picked her up.

“Whoa, you sure are heavy after you’ve had breakfast….”

She lay her head over on my shoulder. I could smell the blood in her hair and on her clothes. Her little arms tightened around me and I thought to myself, one day I was going to miss this. Caring about someone. Protecting the innocent. Perhaps you wouldn’t understand, but she’s my blood pupil, not yours. I dare you to come between us…

2017 Paul D Aronson. All Rights Reserved.

Read the original dialogue only version here: Hand Over The Girl: Dialogue Prompt for Sunday 12 Feb

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11 thoughts on “Blood Pupil (Hand Over The Girl new edit)”

  1. Interesting to see this originally as all dialogue and now with added depth between the lines. Definitely has the potential for a fuller story carried on from this point.

    1. Thank you for your comments. So glad you enjoyed this expanded look at the story. When I first wrote the dialogue version I took no consideration into how to expand this, so when I looked at it this morning I was a little worried on how it could be fleshed out. I do like how it turned out though, and have a couple ideas of where to go from here. I’m working on editing a larger project I abandoned back in September, but hopefully we’ll see more of this story in between all my editing. 🙂

  2. I really liked how you expanded on the original story. It had a definite anime feel to it, especially when Elena came out of the shadows. ( And I mean that in a good way. 🙂 ).

    I also liked that whole last paragraph and how it shows that she may be this dangerous creature, but she is also just this little girl like any other little girl.

    1. Thank you. My favorite part in this write was her hand coming out of the shadows. It was fun watching this unfold and it has given me further ideas on how things could go. I do see this as a dark kind of anime thing, which is sort of funny because I have started re editing and looking back on my anime inspired Vampire Boys that I abandoned for NaNoWriMo. But I’m going to try to work on both in tandem with each other and hopefully not get too confused, lol…

      1. That was a really cool part. 🙂

        I can’t wait to see how you develop this story and all of the twists and turns that will come into play. It’s gonna be awesome! I just know it. 😆

        I’m also looking forward to you starting up Vampire Boys again. I really liked your different take on vampires, especially the concept of alpha vampires being the only ones who can turn people into vampires. Also, you did leave it on a cliffhanger, so it should be interesting to see what happens next. 🙂

      2. Thank you so much. I’m glad Vampire Boys hadn’t gone forgotten by readers 🙂 Where I left off was certainly a hanger. The excitement and dedication required to NaNoWriMo brought it all to a halt, but I’m now re editing and making notes as I go along so I can pick this back up and at least get us to the end of book one (if I decide to make a series out of it). With that said, I’m hoping to work on these other two stories as well in an attempt to flesh them out some. Not sure if they are going to be novels at this point, but they do have larger stories to tell 😉 Thanks again for following my work and taking the time to comment 🙂

  3. It’s amazing how just a few added lines can expand a story. Wonderful work, like always. Hmm, this makes me think of that movie, “Let Me In.” Interesting. I take it the little girl is a vampire or something like that.

    1. Yes, looking back on this it is pretty wild how a story can change with just a few added lines. It definitely isn’t the same story I started out with. With that said, I agree with your film comparison. Actually, the foreign film version, “let the right one in” is one of my favorite vampire movies, and the dynamic between my teacher and his pupil,does seem reminiscent of that. Often we are inspired by things that can threaten to move beyond inspiration if we’re not careful. I’m going to try and avoid that so I have a few things I’m thinking about that hopefully will add some different elements. We’ll see how all that works out 🙂 As for if she is a vampire or something else, I’m still not sure , so we will see what the character does with herself. Thank you for reading and your comments and following my work. As always it is greatly appreciated. 🙂

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